Being in Therapy, I might be a little more attentive to myself then most. One might also say I'm just self-centered. Being a Slytherin, I guess there's a little truth in both.
As many others, I drove home for the holydays. A whole week and even a few more days with my dear parents and my adorable grand-ma visiting.
I was looking forward to a break of working at the museum, which is stressing me out and boring at the same time. After an eight hour bus ride and very merry Christmas, I'm starting to miss the alone-time I get in my own appartment. My dad is keeping is short temper under control and my mom is ... being my Mother. Watching out, being nice and always there.
I never feel as depressive as I do in our own family circle.
I get use to being chubby, my boyfriend being the angel that he is, is very loving and patient supporting my weight-loss parcours, still making feel attractive and desirable all the way.
Something I never feel at home. I actually can't remember a time I didn't think I was too fat. Even way before Highschool. My mother struggled with her weight all her adult life and my sister being the good-looking girl she is, always made me feel... less good-looking. This feeling was confirmed by many persons, their saying or their actions made this unhealthy feeling an inherent part of my life. And with a growing love for food, and a binging-tendency, it never got better for long.
As taught everywhere I try to love myself but how hard it can be, when you're parent make vlear that that's NOT the way you're suppose to be looking. No matter how confident I feel when I come here, being seen as the chubby one losing weight since forever, kills it rather quickly.
Crying myself to sleep, escaping in books or to the library was a routine I thought I had left behind long ago.
I'm very thankful to Mamrie Hart's book: You deserve a drink. Giving me a lot of comical relief and reminding me that sometime a little booze can make me feel better. Especially between the tiny meals, you get when you're suppose to be wanting to lose that muffin-top.
Drinking a little more than usual and thankful for my medication, I'll survive my peaceful family reunion, hope to meet with friends and well miss my comfort-zone.
Read, Drink & Rock on
Lily
As many others, I drove home for the holydays. A whole week and even a few more days with my dear parents and my adorable grand-ma visiting.
I was looking forward to a break of working at the museum, which is stressing me out and boring at the same time. After an eight hour bus ride and very merry Christmas, I'm starting to miss the alone-time I get in my own appartment. My dad is keeping is short temper under control and my mom is ... being my Mother. Watching out, being nice and always there.
I never feel as depressive as I do in our own family circle.
I get use to being chubby, my boyfriend being the angel that he is, is very loving and patient supporting my weight-loss parcours, still making feel attractive and desirable all the way.
Something I never feel at home. I actually can't remember a time I didn't think I was too fat. Even way before Highschool. My mother struggled with her weight all her adult life and my sister being the good-looking girl she is, always made me feel... less good-looking. This feeling was confirmed by many persons, their saying or their actions made this unhealthy feeling an inherent part of my life. And with a growing love for food, and a binging-tendency, it never got better for long.
As taught everywhere I try to love myself but how hard it can be, when you're parent make vlear that that's NOT the way you're suppose to be looking. No matter how confident I feel when I come here, being seen as the chubby one losing weight since forever, kills it rather quickly.
Crying myself to sleep, escaping in books or to the library was a routine I thought I had left behind long ago.
I'm very thankful to Mamrie Hart's book: You deserve a drink. Giving me a lot of comical relief and reminding me that sometime a little booze can make me feel better. Especially between the tiny meals, you get when you're suppose to be wanting to lose that muffin-top.
Drinking a little more than usual and thankful for my medication, I'll survive my peaceful family reunion, hope to meet with friends and well miss my comfort-zone.
Read, Drink & Rock on
Lily